The Future

I don’t want to be an adult today. It’s no fun and I don’t like making decisions that could potential change how our future as a family will be. So I want you to make the choice for me. seriously. Please. Or at least give me your input.

Thanks to a very supportive and much-needed push from my husband I’ve decided to go back to school. I originally wanted to enroll in a Dental Hygienist program but after talking to an advisor I learned that there is a NINE year waiting list from the program. NINE YEARS! So I moved on to plan B, Dental Assistant program. And here is where the problem arises. There are two different Dental Assistant programs I can choose from.

Program A is at a local college about 20 minutes from my home. It’s a year-long all day program which will cost around $5000. The pros are I can qualify for financial aid and it’s so close to home that I won’t miss out on any time with my husband (he works third shift). The cons are it cost more and it’s a longer program. Also Parker would have to go to a full-time daycare or preschool program. To add to my woe the local Montessori I wanted to enroll Park in no longer accepts 3 year olds.

Program B is at a college about 45 minutes from my home. It’s only a 16 week program and which will cost around $3000. The pros are my Dad lives in the same town and will be able to watch Park at least part of the time. It’s also a shorter program and would cost less and there are many more daycares to choose from since it’s in a bigger city. The cons are since it’s a shorter program we can’t apply for financial aid through the school. Also thanks to the commute P and I won’t get to see as much of my husband.

I’m honestly completely torn on which program I should choose. I wish there was a very obvious answer for me. And on top of that difficult decision my husband and I are trying to figure out if we want to continue to try for child number two or if it’s time for us to accept that we are a one child home. It makes me sad to think that I may never be pregnant again or that I may never nurse another child. It makes me sad to think that Parker may be lonely as a child or an adult. But at the same time I can’t deal with the stress of ttc. I can’t continue to see negative tests and feel like a complete failure every  month. I can’t be infertile again I just can’t. If you are an only child did you like it? Were you lonely? I know a sibling doesn’t necessarily mean my children will have a close relationship. I’m not especially close to most of my siblings but I love having their support when we have a family crisis. I wish I could know if not having a sibling will ruin Parker’s life or if it’ll help him thrive.

Ugh. Being an adult sucks. I don’t like it.

amusingpark – take two (a year in review)

Hello friends. Great news, I’m back. Between my child sleeping well (read: I’m getting sleep) and my new found abundance of free time (thanks to previously stated sleeping child) I feel ready to start blogging again. I have a few new things I’m excited to blog about and a few things I’ll be bringing back (like art with Park). I hope that you bear with me while I get  my blog up and running once again. For my first post I thought I would give you a quick review of our last year.

This kid in now three. Like three years old. A tiny person and no longer a baby.Jan 2015 011That just blows my mind. I often reflect upon the saying “the days are long but the years are short” because it’s so so true.

This past year for Parker:

  • Parker’s vocab has exploded. He is constantly saying ridiculously funny and adorable things. And he loves to make up names. For example his blue stuffed animal elephant is named “Deets”. Parker loves to tell stories too. I keep trying to write them down because they are pretty amazing. Parker is still painfully shy in public and we are working on greetings and answering questions when prompted. My husband and I really feel for him as we were both shy children ourselves. When he’s home with us or he’s with someone familiar however we can’t get him to stop talking.
  • Parker has become a fearless climber, a fast runner, and a pretty impressive hopper. Parker loves to climb trees and run around the house. He loves to play in the snow which makes me question if he’s really my child since I loath snow.
  • Parker can just about count to ten, knows most of his alphabet letters, and can dress himself when he wants to. We are still trying to raise him in a Montessori lifestyle so we often use his interest to encourage learning and we encourage him to do things for himself. Speaking of which he has been completely potty trained day and night for about six months and self weaned from breastfeed for about five.
  • Parker still loves art and reading books. He loves to play play dough and loves to glue & cut paper. Right now he is very interested in dinosaurs, fishing, and cars.

This past year for the pets:

  • First we have some very sad news. This past summer we had to say good-bye to our Zoe dog. Her fungal infection which we had been fighting for years was getting harder to treat and the symptoms were getting worst so we made the very difficult and heartbreaking choice to put her to down. Even though it’s been quite awhile we are still heartbroken over her loss and often think about her. Zoe was so much more than a pet to us and we feel an empty hole where she use to fit. Since her loss we have tried to adopt a new puppy but the new puppy just didn’t work for our family. It was too soon and it wasn’t a good fit so we gave the puppy back.
  • Isabel the cat is doing great. She has become very affectionate since the loss of Zoe and I think she enjoys being the only pet for the time being. She has also been getting very spoiled.

The past year for the adults: (honestly not a lot has changed)

  • My husband and I are still doing our TMMO (Dave Ramsey). We recently finished paying off our motorcycle loan and are about half way done paying of our credit cards. We hope to be down to just our car and home loans by May. When we hit that point we will be skipping the car and paying as much as we can on our house since we are looking to hopefully sell our home in the next few years and move out to the country.
  • We have come to discover that although we had Parker we are still infertile. We have been not trying/not preventing since Park’s birth and have had little to no luck. What’s next for us? Nothing. We have decided not to pursue any infertility treatments this time around and will completely give up on ttc if we still unsuccessful by Spring. I can not go through what we went through to have Park and I know my husband can’t either. We have been raising Parker as if he was an only child since his birth just in case he becomes one.

So that’s about it. Or at least this is all I can recall at this time. My next post will be an actual post I hope. I’m really looking forward to sharing our life with all of you again.

bad blogger

I’m a bad blogger. In fact “bad blogger” may be an understatement. I have every intention to blog but I’m finding intentions and time and creativity do not always go hand in hand. It’s frustrating to me that I struggle with my mommy blog since blogging about infertility came so naturally. I wish it was easier for me  but alas this blog is starting to feel like work and since I actually work I don’t need any more work in my life. Are you following me?  I really hope to post more posts in the near future but I honestly can’t promise anything. What I can promise is this… I am here. I am loving my life as a mommy to Parker. And we are thriving. If you miss us as much as we miss you please feel free to follow us on instagram or twitter. Both are private accounts but I will clear almost anyone who requests to follow me.

Currently … it’s still winter

You guys, it’s still winter and that bums me out. I didn’t expect the snow to be gone or anything by the end of February but can we at least get some 40 degree weather so I can get outside with the kiddos? I’m currently a little bummed that we are getting the cold and snow part of global warming. Here’s what else we are currently up to…

I am LIKING the new baby wearing on a budget face book group I found. I have a smallish amount of money set aside to buy a baby wrap and I am having the hardest time figuring out what I want. I’m thinking either a Lenny Lamb, Little Frog, or Girasol (all three can be either new or used). Anyone have any insight?

Park is THINKING about all of the owies and boo-boos he has ever gotten. He is like an elephant that never forgets. Earlier today he decided he wanted me to carry him so he said “oh no my toe boo-boo” (he hurt his toe like *a billion years ago) and then laid down on the ground in a pathetic yet adorable puddle until I picked him up. *a billion years = like a few weeks

Related side note: these days when Parker is not faking injuries to get uppies he is asking by saying this “Mommy, me hold you”. Cutest. Thing. Ever.

We are not PLANTING anything yet because it’s still freaking winter. Sigh. I am so excited to plant a garden this year though. I’ve consulted with my really awesome elderly neighbor who rocks at gardening and I think we have the perfect spot picked out.

Unrelated but adorable picture:

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Parker is BLOOMING in so many ways lately. He is talking up a storm and says the most adorable things. He is also doing really well with his potty learning. Today I couldn’t figure out where he went while I was cooking lunch, you guys, I found him in the bathroom on the potty going pee. He had taken his pants & pull up off, gotten the stool by the toilet, and climbed up there all by himself. He is such a big boy and I am beyond proud.

It’s happened folks, I’ve officially renamed my “baby wearing/breastfeeding” board “crunchy”. I admit it I’m pretty damn crunchy (how did that happen?) and lately all I’ve been PINNING is posts about co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and baby wraps. With of course a couple pins here and there about my dream home, Paleo eats, and my lovely future garden. (psst..follow me here)

What have you currently been up to?! Don’t forget to link up with Randin & Lindsey. They are amazing ladies. Some might even say they are sassy, classy, and a little smart assy. In other words, they are my kind of people!

Parenting goals: vol. 1

Like anything in life hopefully as you age & grow you strive to improve yourself. I have been reading a lot of books on parenting lately and have been spending a lot of time reflecting on what I want to improve on as I raise my son. I’ve discovered that the nanny in me and the parent in me don’t always agree with each other not to mention the infertile. I know I’m a “good parent” in the way that my son is happy and healthy but like everything there is room to grow. This week I have strived to do better with two things: our eating habits and unconstructed play.

1. One of the main things we are working on right now as a family is how and when we eat our food. I’m a snacker and I’m afraid my snacking ways have worn off on Park. This last week I’ve strived to give him smaller snacks and I’m completely blown away by how well he eats at meals now. And I’ve noticed since he has been eating more at meals he sleeps better. I’m thinking about eventually eliminating morning snack all together. We have also begun eating more Paleo again. I’m hoping to have the entire family 90/10 Paleo by next month. We are finding that we stay fuller longer on completely Paleo meals, not to mention how much more energy we have throughout the day.

2. As a nanny its hard to just sit back and let the kids have unconstructed play. If feels like I should be doing something since I’m being paid and this habit has followed me home. This week I’ve strived to sit back, observe, and only step in when I’m absolutely needed at home and at work. We still have structured activities like art and reading but I’ve already learned a lot. Like the fact that my son can do so much more for himself then I give him credit for. The other day he wanted to climb up a huge snow “mountain” with the older nanny kids. Although I held my breath the entire time and it was difficult not to run over and help him I’m glad I let him do it himself. When he finally got to the top he turned to me and said “mommy, I did it” with the most wonderful smile on his face. Huge parenting ah-ha moment. I have been robbing him of his accomplishments and creativity. On that same snow mountain I watched him pick up a snow ball and call it a kitty. My child is amazing.

What are you hoping to improve on in your parenting?

Currently ..

I promise I will blog more. I promise I will blog more.

Seriously though, I promise that I have about a handful of half-finished blog posts that I just need one good bedtime (or nap time) to finish but in the meantime here’s what we have currently been up to…

Snapping some pictures for my instgram (follow me). After a very long break (due to owning a basic phone — lamesauce fyi) I am back on instagram and loving it.

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Stopping snack time or attempting to. More on that tomorrow ;)

Spending time reading. There is nothing that I’m really loving on Netflix right and I have about 16 books checked out from the library so lately instead of chillin’ in front of the TV at night, I read. Oh books, how I missed you. For you curious folks I’m currently reading up on gardening, Montessori practices, and parenting around the world.

Starting up our Paleo diet again. Nom nom nom Paleo!

Parker has been skipping his nap once and awhile but he has been sleeping through the night more often so I’m okay with this trade off. Plus extra snuggles during nap time. Yay!

Color Sorting (an easy activity for toddlers)

I have no freaking idea what we Santa was thinking but Parker got like a bazillion foam letters/numbers for Christmas. And surprise surprise within days a bazillion foam letters/numbers were thrown around my house. Sigh. Not the best idea we Santa has ever had. So the nanny in me thought “duh quiet time activity” and the Mommy in me thought “Oh. Em. Gee. I can use my laminator” so I came up with this super simple color sorting and letter matching activity.

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There are so many options for Parker to do. **Just a reminder Parker is 2 and he can do most of these by himself or with very little assistance from me**  He can simply color sort, he can match the letters to other letters or to the color sheets, he can count how many orange, blue, green, etc. foam letters/numbers there are, he can try to spell his name, I can say “where is a ‘P'”, and the list goes on and on.  Such an easy activity to do with your toddlers (or older kids too) and I think we paid under $10 for the foam letters/numbers at walmart.

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Night Night

Things I didn’t know about two-year olds … they are amazingly good at bed time procrastinations. My son has become the king of procrastinating when it comes to sleep. I think most of the problem is probably completely my fault . For starters, my husband works third shift so it’s just me figuring our this night time situation. I’m not good at night-time routines, I often nurse him to sleep — or at least attempt to, and if he doesn’t fall asleep nursing I lay down with him until he does sleep. If I end up lying down with him I can expect some of the following statements (if not more)…

“Mommy, me owie hurt, you kiss?” “Owie still hurt, more kiss?” (btw he did not even have an owie)

“Mommy, me pooped.” (he didn’t) “Mommy, you pooped.” (nope, I didn’t either)

“Mommy, sing moon moon?” (I already sang you moon moon) “No sing moon moon to grafe (giraffe).”

“Mommy, cow (or ho ho aka santa) scare me.”

“Mommy, me touch Mommy’s owie.” (in this case owie = my hair)

After he has exhausted his conversation starters he moves on to making either A) pretend sleep sounds B) humming songs or C) trying to tickle me.

When those fail he decides he should put Mommy to sleep so he covers me up, kisses me, and sings moon moon to me.

And then we repeat until he passes out or I do. If he falls asleep first I transfer him to his own crib so I can go all star fish in our bed otherwise we just sleep the night away snuggling together.

It’s definitely not a perfect or even relatively good night-time routine but it somehow sort of works for us and it is by far my favorite part of the day. Please tell me your child is a procrastinating genius at night as well..

And the winner is…

Thank you everyone who entered our Tiny Prints giveaway! I really wanted everyone to win because Tiny Prints is the best but alas I only had one gift code to give out. So without further ado congrats Tiffany Herklotz (comment number 13)!!

Screenshot (2)Tiffany said “I love the clear cards! Or the circle ornament type ones. It would be hard to choose which one for sure! lol”

Thanks again to Tiny Prints, I myself cannot wait to order my cards!